Took these out of 8 days:
Funny... And REAL too
CHILDREN'S ANSWER TO A SCIENCE EXAM

Q: What does the word benign mean?
A: Benign is what you will be after you Be Eight.

Q: How can you delay milk from turning sour?
A: Keep it in the cow.

Q: What happens to a boy wen he reaches puberty?
A: He says goodbye to his boyhood and looks forward to his Adultery.

An Anti-Terrorist joke:
I was depressed last night, so I called lifeline, a call centre in Pakistan. I told them I was suicidal. They got all excited and asked if I knew how to drive a truck fly a plane...

A Beer joke:

It is believed that beer contains female hormones and by consuming it, men turned into women. To test the theory, 100 men drank 8 pints of beer in 1 hour and it was observed all of them possessed such qualities:

- Argued over nothing.
- Refused to apologise when obviously in the wrong.
- Gained weight.
- Talked excessively without making sense.
- Became overly emotional.
- Couldn't drive.
- Failed to think rationally when they were able to when sober.

No further testing was necessary...

Medal joke:
Q: Which is the worst medal to win? Gold, Silver or Bronze.
A: Silver. If you win Gold, of course it's good. If you win bronze, you say:" Heng ah! at least I won something." But if you win silver, you nearly won, but you are actually the number 1 loser.

Lawyer and blonde:
One day at the bar, a lawyer sat beside a blonde lady. After drinking so much beer he decided to play a game with her. So he told her, if I ask you a question and you don't know the answer, you pay me 5 bucks. Thinking that he was smart, he said, and if you ask me a question and I can't answer it, I pay you 100 bucks. So the woman happily agreed.

The lawyer asked:" What is the distance between Earth and the nearest star?"
The woman took out 5 bucks and paid him.

Now it was the woman's turn. She asked:" What goes up the hill with 3 legs and comes down with 4. This stumped the lawyer as he was shocked that he could not answer the question. Desperate, he took out 100 bucks and paid the woman.

The lawyer asked the 2nd question,:" Whats your answer to your 1st question?"
The woman promptly took out 5 bucks, paid the lawyer and left.