I've been doing alot of thinking recently.

The beach seems to be the best place to sit just down and think. mull things over and reminisce. the good times and the best times. the serenity and peace it brings sets the stage for people to just sit down and think.

looking at kids playing and running around without a care in the world sometimes makes me jealous. why cant we return to those days where there was nothing to worry about. just running around and doing whatever we like and not giving a damn about anything...

somethings happened recently but only those close to me will know what actually happened. walking down memory lane...

they say time heals wounds. how aptly written cause time is indeed the only the factor which can tell. standing the test of time is a challenge but many have prevailed while I have failed miserably.

i've managed to put some things behind and moved on. somethings still needs time to heal. through the time spent at the beach, i often wonder why all these is happening. when you say i'm anti social and scary, i opened up and embraced the world but what did i get? i got f-ing screwed...

maybe just maybe, to seek protection for myself...

i should just seperate myself from the world and live a life of my own. where i run the show.

sometimes the only time i feel truly at home is when I hang out with my Sec Sch mates. they bring joy and happiness to me. when the real me doesn't get criticized and judged. when we do what we want when we want...

infront of them, theres a need to put up a pretence, hold a masquarade... because at the place where love is being taught, forberance being emphasized... everything is just preaching, everything is just talk. nothing is practiced...

im tired. im truly tired of this pretence. maybe i should just lay it all on the table and forget about all this...

support is so rare and hard to find. people don't really want to care about you maybe except my mates... you're just another person living in this big big world...

...

how i wish...